What if I told you there is an afterlife and I have been there going on five years and it is not what you think but a glorious version of the world we left and that the only downfall is finding those that you love without the knowledge of where they are or if they are even there yet?
Don’t get me wrong, dying sucks. The pain you feel. The not knowing before you are taken to that other place. Fighting as hard as you can for your body to just make it one more day. It’s no day at the beach.
It took me twelve hours of pain and immense stress before I saw that “light” that is spoken of. Which just turns out to be your eyes adjusting to the new world.
I awoke in a grassy patch near a highway; naked as a newborn baby. Luckily there is someone there to greet you. Not an angel. Just another person that had passed on and in charge of acclimating you to your new surroundings.
I was greeted by a man in a black suit. He looked to be around the age of sixty and laughed at my urgency to correct my nudity.
“It’s okay my man,” he said. “We don’t pass judgement here, given that you eventually put on some clothes. Can’t be slinging wang for too long.”
“So this, it’s Heaven?”
“Not exactly my man. That shit was just a guess. Ain’t no holy leader. This just exists because it does.”
“How is that…?”
“Possible? Beats the hell out of me. Lots of questions but no answers. Just like in the other world. We just accept it though. No more trying to figure shit out. Guess those needs left us on the other side. Now, I got some clothes, let’s get you decent.”
He led me to a tan 1994 Buick LaSabre and opened the trunk. He tossed me a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.
“Now get in.”
“Where are we going?”
“Your new mansion.”
“Shit, really?”
“Nah, haha, you got a one bedroom apartment just like the rest of us. Hope you didn’t have a mansion before, you’ll be disappointed.”
“No. No mansion.”
“Then great. Let’s get you home.”
And slightly disappointed I was. I mean, yes, I’m grateful for whatever this is. But the apartments were a tad shoddy. I sound like bougie asshole, which I’m not in any way, shape or form. Look, I don’t have to explain this to you for one day you will be led to these crappy little apartments and your gut will sink just a little bit at the realization that this is where you have come to stay for however long whatever this is lasts.
My driver, who has introduced himself to me on our driver over and is named Charles, pulls the LeSabre into a parking spot and turns to me and says, “You ready?” I nod my head and we both exit the car and walk up a flight of stairs as Charles pulls out a key and turns it into my door unlocking it and opening it and we step inside to a remarkably quaint living space that included a loveseat and a bookshelf that reached to the ceiling. I walked over to examine what lie upon it’s shelves. Don DeLillo, Julio Cortazar, Robert Heinlein, China Mieville all stood side by side begging me to run my fingers along their spines teasing playfully as I open them slightly wider, being careful not to put a crease, only enough to relish in their delights that lay within.
“These are my favorites.”
“That they are.”
“You really don’t wonder what this is?”
“After your first night that childish wonder will cease. You just kind of accept your place in this new life.”
“That seems a little culty.”
“And did not your former world’s beliefs of a being creating a world for you all to live in peace?”
“Touche’.”
“What happens next?”
“That is entirely up to you. This is your new life. I shall leave you to it.”
“Wait, before you do, where are the people from my former life? Are they here as well?”
“If they have passed they are here. Finding them is the tricky part. Most people give up. They accept their new life and look at the before as a great memory. But you make new memories. You meet new loves. You create new family.”
“This all just seems a bit much.”
“Look, tonight you will sleep a deep sleep like never before. You will dream of the before and you will come to a peace with the fact that you most likely will never have a part of that again. You awaken refreshed and ready to explore what lies ahead. Trust me, I felt just like you the day I arrived. Look my man, I’m not here to tell you what to do, from the moment I walk out that door this is all your thing. I’m just here to bring you to, well, here. What you do after is up to you.”
“Is there a way to reach you if I need anything? I mean, where do I get food? Do I even eat food?”
Charles stands as close to me as a person can without actually touching you but you feel that aura of presence that you are just about to be touched.
“Look my man, when I leave just go to sleep. That’s all the information I can give.”
He then walks to the door, opens it and steps outside. “I would wish you luck but this isn’t about luck, it’s about you and what you do with it. We don’t know where this leads, so why think about it, just be.”
He then shuts the door and I am alone. I stand in that spot for what seems like a century and I go through every emotion in the book. I then slap myself, like you do in situations that you have no control over.
I lay on the floor and immediately fall asleep.
And I dream.
After what seems like seconds I awake.
Five years later I sit at my desk typing this because yesterday I saw my wife. From the life I had before. Someone I hadn’t thought about since before the dream.
I saw her at a glance. It stopped me in my tracks. The recognition slowly overtaking me. And in that small amount of time, she was gone. I walked back forth along that busy street, looking into people’s faces, and most likely freaking them out, desperately trying to find her. I searched for hours, until it grew dark out, to no avail.
Eventually I sauntered home and sat at my desk, turned on my computer and began to tell this tale, for what if I closed my eyes once more, dreamt another of those dreams and forgot my love once again.
Luckily that didn’t happen. For the next day I went out to the same street, at the same time and there she was once again. Making her way through the sea of people. Me desperately trying to keep up. She then turns a corner and I know I can catch her. I make my way along the same route as she, yet, she is gone. Same as the day before. Disappeared into thin air.
Again, I make my way home. Kicking rocks and sighing heavily, disgusted with myself for letting her slip away again. I vowed that tomorrow I would wait for her to turn that corner. I would wait every day until she turns and I wrap my arms around her and welcome her back into my life.
The next day I set out early and stood and waited and she came around that corner and I wrapped my arms around her and she disappeared. I dropped my arms to my sides. Looking straight ahead and seeing the rest of the people that were on that busy street begin fading away. The buildings follow suit and then everything goes black.
____________________________
There was knock at the door that early morning. Sarah, who had just awoken about ten minutes earlier made herself as presentable as possible then walked to the door and answered. “Charles?” she proclaimed in a confused tone.
“Sarah, we have to talk.”
Sarah begins to cry for she knows what is going to be said.
She is told a tale of her husband Tom, an astronaut who had been away for the past five years. He was repairing a satellite when a chunk of debris knocked him loose and sent him drifting into the darkness. He forwent the safety precautions that would have prevented the accident.
Charles rushed over as soon as it was official that he could not be rescued.
She fell forward into Charles’ arms. He held her for a long time.
Erectitudes of the Universe 