Tales of People Dying pt. 10

Mr. Peabody had lived on the top floor of his apartment building for the past thirty-four years. When he first moved in his neighbors warned him of the spirits that haunted his new place of residence. He chose to ignore them and for the entirety of his stay had never seen a single ghostly figure.

But on this night that would all change. His night began as any other. Cooking a nutritious meal and sitting in his favorite chair to watch a mediocre television show to pass the time till he fell asleep.

He had just finished preparing his meal and sat down when the noise started outside. A horrible ruckus of shouting and expletives seemed to be coming from right outside his window. He walked to it, opened it and saw two teenage kids wrestling with each other. He shouted down to them, “Can you please keep it down?”. For which the teenagers just laughed. Mr. Peabody walked to the kitchen and filled a bowl with cold water. He took it back to the window and poured it on the two teenagers. The action was met with more expletives. Mr. Peabody smiled and went back to his chair; turning up the television to drown out any noise.

_____

The two teenagers were not happy about the old man dumping water on them. One of them had a plan.

“That old man lives in the Adam’s apartment. Shit’s supposed to be haunted as fuck. I say we scare the shit out of that old man.”

“What do we do?”

“My Dad is the landlord of this shithole. I can get keys to any of the apartments. I say we sneak in, pretend to be ghosts and scare the shit out of the dirt bag.”

“That sounds aces. I’m in.”

So the teens go inside and find the key and a couple of white sheets and slowly make their way to Mr. Peabody’s.

They can hear the television from outside his door. One of the teens takes the key and without making a noise turns the lock. The door opens and the two slip inside. It is dark inside and they can see the glow of the television and the sleeping Mr. Peabody in a reclining chair. They sneak past him and enter the kitchen. They place their sheets over their heads. One of the teens grabs a couple of glasses and throws them one by one towards the reclining chair until Mr. Peabody wakes. He sits up frantically. Desperately trying to stand he pulls himself up and walks around the chair to find the broken glasses. A wind comes in through his open window blowing his curtains and directing his attention. The teens use this as their opportunity. They exit the kitchen and slowly make their way towards Mr.Peabody. He sees them and steps backwards. His bare feet connecting with the broken glass which causes him to lose balance. One teen starts to make scary noises and in a gruff voice says, “Get out!”

Still trying to catch his balance Mr. Peabody steps on another shard of glass. Blood has begun to seep from his wounds. His wounded foot falls in the mix of blood and glass causing him to slip and fall backwards. He outstretches a hand but catches nothing. For the only handhold around would have been his window, which remained opened due to the disturbances from the two teens.

Mr. Peabody’s hand exited the window. Followed by his upper body. He tried to grab at anything to try and pull himself back in but to no avail. His upper body weight pulled him forward. Sliding him out the window and falling to the concrete below.

The teens ran to the window. Throwing off their sheets and looking at the crumpled body that lay beneath them.

“He’s gonna move. He’s gonna be okay.”

“We have to do something.”

They watch as Mr.Peabody continues to lay still. They see a car driving up the road. It pulls over and a figure runs to the body. The two teens duck their heads inside.

“He’ll be fine. We gotta go.”

They gather up their things and exit the apartment.

_____

As Mr.Peabody lay waiting for what he knew was coming he lay there trying to figure out why after thirty years of silence the ghosts would do this to him now. He figured he had always been a good tenant. That they lived in a peacefulness. Never getting in each other’s way. He died that night in a state of wonder. His last thoughts on the mysteries of the world and what lay ahead of him. He smiled at the thought and closed his eyes.

Tales of People Dying pt. 9

The clown never expected today to be his last day. If he had, maybe he would have gone home and changed out of his costume and not have tried to be a hero. But this was the life of the clown. Nothing ever went the way he expected. Though in his final minutes he kept true to himself.

The clown entered the convenience store with the hopes of picking up a soda, a candy bar and maybe a six-pack of cheap beer and exit quickly back to his house to take a shower and lay on his couch while watching episodes of television he had seen plenty of times before. It was while standing at the beer cooler that he heard the bells of the door ringing. He had no reason to suspect any foul play to be afoot, hundreds of people walk through that door everyday. But then he heard the shouting.

He turned to the commotion and saw a figure waving something that looked like a gun in the store worker’s face. The clown knew that this could escalate into something where a life could be taken. He made a decision.

He walked to the young man with the gun.

“Well helllllooooo there sonny!,”the clown said.

The gunman looked at the clown confusedly.

“What the fuck is this?”

“Wow there sonny, that’s no way to speak to a friend and Chuckles here is everybody’s friend!”

“You got to be shittin’ me.”

The gunman looked back at the store clerk, “Keep putting the money in the bag you fuck!”.

The clerk does as told. The clown starts to run in circles running into a wire rack holding magazines. He falls with a crash. Jumps back to his feet bellowing a ridiculous laugh. He then goes to one knee outstretches his hands above his head and says,”Ta daa!”. The gunman looks at him. This is when the clown squirts the gunman in the face with a stream of water from a flower that is attached to his shirt.

“What the fuck man!”

The gunman not taking kindly to the clown’s act hits the clown in the back of the head with the butt of his gun. The clown falls hard face forward, his head bouncing off the hard tile. The clown blinks trying to clear his vision. All he sees is the blood seeping from his head collecting in a puddle in front of him and a red ball that he recognizes a his nose.

When the gunman’s business is complete he turns to run out of the store. The clown can only see his feet. He watches as the gunman’s foot steps on his nose. A squeak emits from underneath the sneaker. The clown silently laughs to himself and smiles as he closes his eyes.

You Fit Me Better Than My Favorite Sweater

As I walked through the door to the apartment that my girl and I shared I was welcomed to the soothing voice of Lana Del Rey. The song playing was Blue Jeans and was coming to an end and the next track starting up.

I called for my girl but received no answer. I walked into the living room and found her sitting on the couch. She was wearing a small black dress which was pulled up just a bit revealing her spread thighs and the hand that rest between them gently rubbing her pussy through a pair of satin black panties.

She looked at me and smiled. She stood. Grabbing me by the hand she lead me into the bedroom. Once inside I noticed two chairs facing each other. She pushed against the wall. Pulling my shirt over my head. Her hands sliding down my chest she unbuttoned my pants and frantically removed them and my underwear leaving me completely nude.

While I’m against the wall she lowers a hand to my cock and strokes it gently. Her hand sliding down my cock to my balls which she grabs and squeezes gently. Her grip on my balls growing tighter. A slight pain flows through them as I let out a moan.

She grabs me by the hand again and sets me down in one of the chairs. She places my arms on the armrests and begins to secure my arms to them with a pair of black stockings.
She sits in the chair that is across from me. Grabbing the bottom of her dress she pulls it over her head. Leaving her in just the pair of satin black panties. She puts her hand to her tits. Squeezing them as she looks at me. Taking her pierced nipples between her fingers and begins to squeeze and pull on them, teasing herself. Her eyes look down towards my cock, she smiles as she watches it grow.

She slides a hand down her stomach and places it inside the front of her panties. I watch as her hand moves underneath. She moans as she teases her pussy.

I try to move my hands so that I can tease myself as I watch but unable due to my restraints. My cock grows harder and pulses with desire as I watch her.

She raises a leg towards me and places a foot against my cock. She begins to rub my cock forcefully. She takes her hand out from inside her panties and pulls them aside. Showing me her pussy. Spreading its lips and showing me the wetness that lay within.

She takes two fingers and slides them inside her. Still pushing her foot against my hard cock and balls. The desire for her growing inside me. I struggle against my restraints. Her foot pushing against my balls as if to punish me. She raises her foot to my mouth. I open it and let her place her toes inside. My tongue licking between them. My lips sucking them.

When she thinks I have had enough she leans towards me. Bringing her mouth close to my cock. Kissing the head. Taking her tongue and sliding it up and down covering my cock in her saliva. She then lowers her mouth onto it. Taking me fully into her mouth. Moving her head up and down slowly. Her tongue pushing against my cock. Her mouth filling with saliva drenching my cock. She begins to suck harder and faster. She then stops abruptly and looks me in the eyes. I can feel her loosening the restraints. She takes me by the arm and pushes me onto the bed. She climbs on top of me sitting on my cock she grinds herself against me, I can feel her wetness through her panties. As she grinds against me she kisses my neck and chest. Taking a nipple in her mouth she sucks on it gently. Flicking it with her tongue as it is between her lips. She then sucks harder. A moan of pleasure erupts from me. My cock stiffens harder. She sucks again. The pain turning to immense pleasure. As she sucks again she slides her panties to the side and fills her pussy with my rock hard cock. She immediately begins moving up and down on me. Fucking me hard and moving faster and faster. I grab her tits hard as she fucks me. A loud moan comes from within her and she moves harder on me.

I feel a pressure in my cock. My cock begins twitching as an orgasm draws near. I look at her, she is smiling at me, telling me she feels it too. She moves up and down on me and I feel like I am about to explode. I tell her I am about to cum. She climbs off me and grabs my cock. She strokes me until cum begins to pour onto her hand. She lowers her tits to my cock and strokes me faster causing my cum to shoot out on to her tits.

When all the cum has been drained from me she sits up. Taking a hand she uses a finger to rub my cum along her nipple. Then collects it onto her finger. Placing the finger in her mouth to suck my cum from it. She repeats this until all my cum is gone.

I lay my head back. I then hear her say, we aren’t done yet, as she positions herself on her knees. I get behind her and begin slapping her ass softly. Leaving slight red marks. She moans with each slap. I slap her harder. Causing her to gasp and turning her ass a dark red.

I then spread her ass. Lower my tongue to her asshole and lick and flick it. Spitting on it to make it nice and wet. I then insert my tongue inside her ass. She lets out a deep moan in pleasure and I push my tongue deeper inside. I begin to move my tongue back and forth inside her. Fucking her ass with my tongue I take a hand and touch her dripping wet pussy. I slide two fingers inside her and finger her pussy as my tongue fucks her ass.
I remove my tongue and fingers and slap her pussy softly. Repeatedly slapping it making it red and sore. My slaps getting harder causing her to gasp in pain and ecstasy.

I stand and leave the room. She calls after me asking where I am going but I don’t reply. I come back into the room with a bottle of baby oil. She moans happily when she sees it.
I return to my position behind her and begin pouring the oil on her back and ass. Watching as it drips down onto her pussy.

I take my hard cock and begin to grind it against her slippery pussy and ass. Moving faster. My cock then slides deep into her pussy. I move inside her hard and slow. My speed picking up. Slamming my cock into her hard and deep. I can feel her pussy twitch as she cums repeatedly.

I take a finger and slowly push it into her ass. I feel her cum instantly. I begin fingering her ass as I fuck her pussy.

I can feel another orgasm rising within me. As I feel the cum about to explode  I remove my cock from her pussy and stick the head of my cock in her ass. Stroking the cum out of my cock and filling her ass.

When she is full I remove my cock. Cum starts to drip from out of her. I turn her over so that she is lying on her back. My cum still dripping from her ass I spread her legs and lower my mouth to her pussy. Licking her clit I tongue fuck her until she explodes in an orgasm. Her body shaking and twitching.

We both lay back onto the bed. I turn to her and kiss her. She lays her head on my chest. We lay like this for a while.

Tales of People Dying pt. 8

The house smelled like pineapples. A sweet smell that turned my stomach and made me want to leave immediately. I held back the sick that was working its way up my esophagus and ventured through a door by a kitchen that led to a basement that occupied the reasoning for my coming to this pineappley hell.

The basement smelled better but there was a thickness in the air that seemed to encapsulate my head in an invisible pillow which made breathing a chore filling my eyes with tears that blurred my vision. I began to think I wouldn’t make it out of this house alive.

I made my way through the basement as best I could finding a wall and leaning against it at first then outstretching a hand to guide me. I began to feel light-headed and a cough rose from lungs. I coughed causing dust and who knows what else to loosen from the wall and drift into my face. The granules found a way into my already reddened eyes and felt like jagged rocks making cuts as I frantically blinked hoping my tears would wash them away.

It was then I lost all control of my legs and slid against the wall. The loose wood sent splinters into my shoulder causing me to take in a deep breath of the dust particles I’d stirred up with my sudden declination to the floor. I fell forward my face slamming hard pushing my teeth into my cheek and I swore I heard a cracking and a few teeth come loose. This thought became reality as my mouth filled with the coppery taste of my own blood.

I laid where I fell. My body sapped of all strength. My arms refused to move. I felt paralyzed. My mouth filling with blood faster than I could swallow. I felt a warmth under my head and saw a black liquid inching its way out from underneath. I instantly knew it was my blood. That my head had cracked open and that I was going to die. I laid there unable to remember my life. My head cloudy from whatever caused this. I closed my eyes and accepted the inevitable.

I came to at the feeling of cool air and muffled voices. I felt as if I were floating. I heard a woman’s voice…

“He ran in, I couldn’t stop him. He was repeating the same thing over and over, ‘It’s got to be here’. I yelled to him you can’t go in there it’s being fumigated but he just ran in so I called you guys. Is he going to be okay?”

I was being thrown around on what I assumed to be a gurney of some sort and I barely made out two figures pulling themselves into whatever I had just been put in. Two slamming noises and loud sirens followed. One of the figures put something on my face and air began to be forced into my nose. I laid there for a few minutes trying to figure everything out. To just make sense of what was going on. It was then I closed my eyes for the last time.

 

 

A Night

It seemed to play in slow motion. His hand rising to her face. His fingers brushing her cheek and making their way around to intertwine within her dark hair. An electricity filled the space between their lips exploding in a show of fireworks when they touched. They kissed slowly. Tongues exploring each others mouths. A sensuousness not felt before coursing through their bodies.

He pulls her body closer. Arms wrapping around her. Hands exploring the curves of her body.

She lays back. He lowers a hand to her thigh. Touching her softly. Feeling the warmth of her skin. He moves his hand down her leg sending shock waves of pleasure throughout her. Taking her foot in his hand her lowers his lips to it. Kissing it. Running his tongue over her toes and along the top and up her leg. She moans and arches her back as the sensation becomes overwhelming. He kisses her inner thigh. Feeling heat radiating from her sex. Knowing she is ready for him. Him wanting her to be tortured in ecstasy.

She grabs his head pulling it to her pussy. Pushing his lips to it. He follows her lead in kissing its lips. Using his tongue to separate them. The wet heat flows into his mouth. His tongue inside her filling his mouth with sweetness that makes him hungry for more.

When neither can take no more he pulls his body onto hers. Inserting himself within the heat of her sex. Moving slowly inside her. Their bodies moving together. Skin sliding against skin. An intense heat flowing through them. Their bodies filling with a hunger to become one. To melt together as one sexual being brought upon by a lustful need to complete each other. Moving together the heat grows. The hunger growing more intense until waves of electricity fill them both in an explosion.

They lay there in each others arms. Their bodies twitching. They look in each others eyes and know. For what they shared needed  no words.

Until the End

A male is sitting in a room looking out a window. Another male enters.

Alexander: Are you ready?

Christian: Is Seraphim with you?

Alexander: She’s out by the car.

Christian lowers the blinds and turns to leave. Alexander follows.

________

Christian , Alexander and Seraphim are in a park. They walk towards a wooded area.

Seraphim: It’s so quiet here.

Alexander: It seems all the bad shit is going down in cities. Nothing here worth destroying.

Christian: What’s going on?

Seraphim: Looting, murder, suicide. You name it it’s happening.

Alexander: So why aren’t we out causing mayhem?

Christian: No one is forcing you to be here.

Alexander: You’re right, there’s no point.

Seraphim: (To Alexander) Didn’t you say you wanted to go out having sex?

Alexander: I changed my mind.

Seraphim: What caused that?

Alexander: Having sex out of wedlock is a sin. So, if there is a heaven, I’m trying my damndest not to fuck up my chances of getting.

Christian: Swearing is a sin too.

Alexander: I guess I’m just full of contradictions. Aside from saying a few bad words, today I am the most religious man you know.

Seraphim: You’re not serious.

Alexander: Yes I’m serious. You just don’t understand. You two have your golden tickets. Hell just look at your names. I’ve never given a fuck about that shit until my life is on the line. They say you find faith in times of woe. It appears it’s true.

Seraphim: (To Christian) You’re not jumping on the Jesus bandwagon are you?

Christian: You know me better than that.

The three of them walk in silence for a while.

Alexander: My mom wouldn’t stop crying. She hugged me for like thirty minutes. I didn’t think she would ever let me go.

Seraphim: My father wouldn’t even speak. He just sat staring at the blank screen of the tv.

Christian: I wonder if they are still alive?

Seraphim stops walking. Christian walks up to her. She wraps her arms around him.

Seraphim: (Looking Christian in the eyes) I love you.

Christian: I love you too.

Seraphim: I’m glad we met.

Christian: Sera, please, don’t do this now. Not yet.

Seraphim: I don’t want it to be too late. We have no idea when we are going to go. It could be any second now. Just let me say what I have too.

Alexander walks away.

Christian: (To Alexander) Where are you going?

Alexander: What you two have to say isn’t for my ears.

Christian looks back at Seraphim. She is smiling.

Christian: What?

Seraphim: Can’t I just look at you without there being a reason?

Christian: You just seem like you want to say something.

Seraphim: I do. It’ll come soon.

_________

Alexander is much further down the trail. There is a rustling in the trees next to him. He sees a male and a female who appear to be having sex. He steps closer. The male looks at Alexander. Alexander sees blood on the male.

Alexander: What is going on? Get off her!

The male stands where he is and speaks to Alexander.

Male: Don’t you get it? We are free. There’s nothing we can’t do. We can unleash our forbidden desires and dine on the sins of man. It’s what God wants.

Alexander: You are crazy.

Male: Am I? Or are you just denying the truth? (He points to the sky) He is challenging us. This is His judgement day. We are all being judged.

Alexander: Is that what happened here? God’s judgement?

Male: He judged her through me. We are all dead my friend. It’s just a matter of time.

The male approached Alexander.

Alexander: Don’t come near me.

The man continues approaching and reveals a knife.

Alexander: I’m warning you.

The male runs at Alexander. Raising the knife he attempts to plunge it at Alexander. Alexander catches his arm and punches the males face. The male falls dropping the knife. Alexander picks it up.

Male: Be free.

__________

Christian and Seraphim are now sitting on a patch of grass holding each other.

Seraphim: I have to tell you that in the twenty-two years that I have been alive I have never been as happy as the two year I have spent with you. The first day we met you made me smile and I haven’t stopped since.

Christian: You don’t have to do this.

Seraphim: I want to. I want you to know how much you mean to me. And that I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I’m going with you. I’m going to die happy.

Christian kisses her on top of her head. She looks up at him. They kiss.

Christian: It’s the way it should be.

They kiss again. Alexander approaches.

Christian: Who’s blood is that?

Alexander: I had no choice.

Christian: No choice in what?

Alexander: Some crazy asshole up the trail.

Christian: You killed him?

Alexander: He was going to kill me.

Seraphim: Where did you get that?

Alexander looks in his hand. He drops the knife.

Alexander: You want to know something ironic? I’ve never felt so alive.

Christian: Just get cleaned up.

Alexander: What’s the point?

Christian: I don’t want to look at it.

Alexander removes his shirt and wipes himself off.

Seraphim: What’s happening to you?

Alexander: I’m looking death in the face and it isn’t pretty.

Searphim: You are losing your mind.

Alexander doesn’t respond.

Christian: I’m not ready.

Alexander: What?

Christian: I’m not fucking ready.

Alexander: You have no choice so, deal with it.

Christian: Fuck you.

Alexander: What’s your problem?

Christian: We are sitting here waiting to die.

Alexander: Why don’t you go cause some mayhem?

Christian: I’m not you. I’m not going to go kill someone. I want more time.

Alexander: i told you I had no choice.

Christian: How do we know that? How do we know all your Jesus talk wasn’t just complete bullshit and you are just as crazy as the rest of these people?

Seraphim: (To Christian) Why are you acting like this?

Christian: I’m fucking scared. I don’t want this. I want to wake up tomorrow and see your face. I’m not ready for nothingness.

Seraphim: We are all scared.

Christian walks to a tree and sits under it. Seraphim joins him and they wrap their arms around each other. Alexander lays on the ground in front of them. They stay that way for a while.

Everything goes black.

Untitled

*Another attempt at something that went nowhere*

When Visible entered the saloon he knew he was asking for trouble. He walked quickly to the back of the establishment, the whole time hiding his face under his wide brim hat. The back corner was dark so he raised his hat a little, in time to see a whore approaching his table. She sits, leans back in her chair and raises her skirts to reveal stocking’d legs.

“Fancy ‘a swig an’ a poke Mista?”

“I’m expecting someone.”

“Sorry Mista, I ain’st be doin’ two’s ya.”

“Well that’s fine. I don’t fancy a poke.”

“Shame, me cunny’s real slick fer ya.”

Visible reaches out with his gloved hand and touches the whore’s knee.

“I think you’re right, why don’t you go grab a whiskey for me. I’ll toss it back we’ll see what happens next.”

The whore stands and goes to the bar. Visible removes his hat and places it on the table. Pulls his long jet black hair into a ponytail revealing his tattooed face. The whore returns with the whiskey. Stopping short of the table and dropping the glass to the floor. The crash brings the attention of two men at the bar. They approach the table. Visible stands and removes his shirt and gloves showing a tattooed torso to match his face.

The whore runs to the men who have drawn their pistols.

“Dat man da devil,” the whore exclaims.

The men remain speechless, only holding pistols at Visible and examining his tattooed body. They eyeball the intricate muscles that are painted into his arms, the heart that rests in the center of his chest enclosed in an armor of rib cage.

“What you is Mister?” one of the drunkards asks.

“I’m just a man trying to meet someone. I didn’t want trouble till you brought it amongst yourselves. I would appreciate it if I sit here in peace until my company arrives.”

The other drunkards speaks. “Well you done fucked that up ain’t ya son. We don’t take kindly to freaks or demons here. You see we God fearin’ people. We ain’t gots no use for your devils. No you leave or we’s make you leave.”

A man speaks from behind the drunkards.

“I think my partner has just the same right as any of you fine gentlemen to sit, enjoy a drink, await his company and leave. Now, if you have a problem with him, well, then I’m sorry to say it, you have a problem with me. I have a nasty habit of solvin’ my problems, just can’t let that rest on my conscious.”

A gun cocks followed by the releasing of steam. The drunkards turn to face the man behind them. He is hold a short barreled shotgun that has been modified with a tube at the top that is releasing a puff of steam. A ticking sound can heard and gears are at work beside the trigger.

“Vis, grab your gear, I think we have had all the hospitality we can take today.”

Visible replaces his shirt, gloves and hat then joins the side of the armed man. They back towards the door, the steam gun still pointed at the drunkards. They are about to exit when a giant black bird flys in from behind them and lands on the bar.

Charlie, the man with the steam gun, draws his attention to the bird.

“Well, this changes everything now don’t it,” he says.

A gunshot rings out from behind the bar.

“Get the fuck out or I’ll bleed you out,” the bartender yells at the two strangers and bringing the pistol down to point in their direction.

“Or not,” Charlie pulls the trigger of the steam gun. A loud roar emits and a mix of gunshot and force spews from the barrel. The two drunkards, the whore and the barman are all but disintegrated. Charlie and Visible use this distraction to run out the doorway.

They climb onto the backs oif the horses they arrived on head through the town with much haste. Visible looks back at the bar, a black cloud had begun to stream out.

“Charlie, look,” yells Visible.

Charlie looks back to see the cloud breaking up into individual black birds.

“Shit. Crows.”

He raises the steam gun and points it to the cloud and pulls the trigger. The same emission spews forth cutting a hole into the cloud and littering the ground black.

“Vis, just go, don’t look back.”

Something Sick For the Rest of You

“Watch this…Hey Johnson!”

“Yeah?”

“You go to baby molesters anonymous yet?”

“It was a one-time thing!”

“Sure.”

“What was that all about?”

“Johnson molested some like twelve year old or something, thinks because he only did it once and has not done it again, yet, that he’s fit to be a normal everyday ding-dong how do you do citizen of the free world.”

“Doesn’t he have to register or something?”

“Yeah, had to go door to door telling everyone how he’s a sick fucker with a lust fer yungin’s. However, he adds how it was a sick disease that has been cured by a newfound love fer the lord above, like that’s a saving grace. I mean shit, like a holy man has never touched a yungin.”

“I just don’t get it, how can this be tolerated?”

“What?”

“That that ped is in here eating, drinking, look he’s chatting it up with that guy, someone’s father, I mean that dude’s got a kid…”

“Maybe he’s buttering him up, few more drinks he’s thinking, few more drinks and his son’ll be all mine, maniacal laugh.”

“I’m being serious, why isn’t there…, what am I saying? How is it that that fuck is drinking with us, not drinking with us in the literal sense, but in the same vicinity, the same building, the same continent that isn’t overrun with cannibals, which doesn’t matter because cannibals have more class than to eat a ped.”

“On the other hand, maybe cannibals don’t have that much class, maybe it’s that they think if they eat a ped than they will absorb that ped’s soul and become a freakin’ ped themselves.”

“Or maybe they don’t wanna eat some dude who has a twelve year old’s cum in their stomach.”

“That’s pushing this conversation a little too far.”

“Look, I don’t want to have this freakin’ conversation. We wouldn’t be having this conversation if the world we lived in would punish those who deserved it.”

“You mean Johnson.”

“Fuck yeah I mean Johnson. He should be in jail getting fucked in the ass by some spic drug runner.”

“Are you holding back something? Are there some repressed feelings at work here? Was there a family member that was just a little too friendly when you were a wee one?”

“No, I wasn’t molested as a child. This is just a matter of decency. We live in a world that worries too much about what might happen and forgets about what has happened. We’ll make up a war to prevent something from happening, but we’ll release criminals who have committed acts of cruelty amongst our fellow man. And they’re not reformed. As soon as they get out they look fer that next child to touch, that next lady to force themselves upon, that next homosexual to beat three inches from death. There’s a difference between thinking something and committing something. You can think all you want to. It’s just a thought. People think all the time about killing that hateful boss. But it never comes to fruition. But committing that act, there’s no going back. You’ve tested those waters and the swimming’s a good time you’ve never experienced before. And believe me there will come a time when the water gets just a little too tempting, be it a hot day or you’re just looking fer some exercise. But you’ll jump in and swim till your heart’s content.”

“Well since you’re mister high and mighty go do something about it. You can talk the talk, it is just talk right? But can you make a difference? If you’re gonna sit here and blabber this is bad, this is not the way it should be and shit. Stand up! Fight fer your rights! Show the world that you are one hundred percent male. That you eat pussy fer a reason, so it doesn’t eat you.”

“This isn’t a joke.”

“I’m not fucking laughing Nicholas.”

“Then what the hell are you saying?”

“I’m saying you’re no different from anyone else. You have this, let’s call it a map, a topographical map, and in the valleys are the indigents of the world, the criminals, the “gangsta” blacks, hell maybe all the blacks. In the plains you have the Mexicans, cause your white ass isn’t gonna plow the fields. On the hills, you have the Asians, you don’t care if they live or die, you just want to fuck their women. Last of all you have the all mighty white man, standing tall on the highest of peaks, not a care in the world except those rare times you have to venture to the valley. You do live in that paranoid world where all black men are gonna rape a white woman, right? I’ve seen you, a black man passes you by, you grab your ass making sure your wallet’s still there.”

“What are you getting at?”

“You wanna talk shit, say that person’s bad for this and that reason. However, you don’t see. You’re a scared little turtle; you’ll come out of your shell to badmouth someone to your friends. You can’t speak your mind when they’re around, no, at that moment you’re pissing your pants with your mouth clamped shut.”

“None of this matters anymore. Look, he’s leaving. We can go back to our normal lives.”

“If that’s what you want to do. Go on with your normal life little turtle. Just think that in the time it took us to have this conversation you could’ve done something. But instead you wanted to sit here arguing with me about who knows what.”

“Whatever. One more drink and of I’m out of here.”

“Goodnight little turtle.”

2

My Closet is Trying to Kill Me

He lays his head down. Pulls the covers up to his chin. Closes his eyes.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

For the many nights that this has happened, he has never seen what is causing the ruckus. Not yet anyway. And it never seems to awaken any of the other occupants of the household. The only conclusion that his adolescent mind can muster is, just that, it is his paranoid adolescent mind.

Then the whispers start.

We want you. We know you. You’ve seen us before. Death will bring you. Death will bring you. Death will bring you.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

With the combination of banging and ghostly whispers, he feels a loosening in his bowels and a terror growing in the pit of his stomach. He pulls the covers up to his eyeballs. Staring intently at his closet door, opening and closing with brute force. A brutality so strong that on the last closing, before he jumps out of bed, splinters the door into two pieces.

Out of bed, he storms down a hallway, tramples down his many stairs, bursts through his front door and heads to what he sees as safety. His auto. He runs to it, entering and immediately locking the doors. He breathes in then out slowly. Peace in Japanese craftsmanship.

He closes his eyes, trying to fall asleep. Fifteen minutes pass. His eyes open as if sensing something. He looks up to his bedroom window. His overhead light has been turned on. Behind the lowered blind, he can see a shape the size of an average sized adult. The shape starts to move, as if running in circles. Continuously running past the window. He watches in wonderment and fear. The shape then stops abruptly in front of the window. After a few seconds pass, the blind begins to rise slowly. The figure is human, male, naked, and red. The blind rises a little higher. Not red, its blood, the figure is drenched in blood. Its chest is revealed. Then neck. Head. He sits staring up at the window, having a blood-covered version of himself staring right back at him.

He wants a closer look. He reaches for the door handle, pulls it. The door opens slightly before he jerks it back closed in fright. For his blood drenched twin is now looking at him through the driver’s side window. Its hand touches the outside of the glass. Then begins violently slapping and leaving blood streaks against the surface.

He reaches for the ignition switch. No keys. He slaps himself in the head, he forgot them in his room, and he’s sure as hell not going back there. So he clambers over the gearshift and into the passenger seat. He quickly glances over to his bloody twin, he is still there, now with his face to the window, moaning.

Opening the passenger side door he leaps out ands runs. He runs like he’s never had to run before. He runs and runs. Every now and then slowing to a walk to catch his breath. Runs some more. Making lefts and rights. Onto avenues and circles, cutting through cul-de-sacs. Eventually reaching his destination. A small white Spanish style home on the corner of avenue and road. He goes to the back of the house. Opens a window and crawls in.

His girlfriend is sitting on the floor, whispering something. She jumps at the sound of him falling onto the floor behind her.

“Hey!” she says turning to face him.

“Hello,” he takes a deep breath. “What’s going on?” he asks pointing to the candles and open book.

“Just some breathing exercises. You know, I’m a yoga freak.”

“Oh…Huh?”

“Yoga, you know, Pilates and shit. What are you doing here?”

“Something…Yoga?”

“You want a blowjob?”

“Let me catch my breath,” he pauses. “Huh?”

“Do you want a blowjob? Is that why you came running over here? Looking at some Cindy Crawford pics? Watching a little Fair Game were ya?” She smiles. “Feeling a little horny?”

She moves along with the motion of his head and eyes, trying to block his view from whatever it is she was up to before his presence.

“Wait…What are you doing…Why are you doing yoga…at…three…in the morning?”

“It’s never too late, or early, whatever, for some stretching and breathing and shit,” she scoots up to him; he has now placed himself on the edge of her bed. She starts to unbutton his pants.

“The mood just struck me. You know like you wanting a blowjob.”

Finally catching his breath, but not stopping her from pulling his pants down to his ankles he completes a sentence.

“I ran over here…oh yeah….because a bloody version of me was, well, I don’t know what the hell he was doing exactly, scaring me…oh, God, yeah…my closet door, banging, bloody version of me…that’s the good stuff…in my room.”

She speaks, though with a mouthful it is indistinguishable. A translation:

“Bloody version of you? What? That’s ridiculous. Just admit you wanted some sucky-sucky.”

He doesn’t understand a word, though doesn’t really care. Because of the task she is engaged in, he has a chance to gaze at the mischief she was causing before his appearance.

“I don’t think a pentagram is used in yoga, I could be wrong…Ow!” she bites down, distracting him.

“Oh yeah, I like it when you invite the canines over to play. Woof, woof,” he says, confusing her just enough to pull her off. She looses balance and falls back a little. Giving him an opportunity to grab the open book that lies on the floor. He reads. Then looks at her.

“You’re a sneaky one aren’t you?”

He quickly puts his dick in his pants and zips. Looks at his hand. There is a glistening in the moonlight. He wipes in on her bed.

“Gross!”

“Yeah, that’s the most important thing right now, me wiping your saliva on your bed sheets.”

She smiles.

“The whole time it was you? I was scared shitless. I was scared so shitless that I almost shit myself. I thought my closet was trying to kill me.”

“I guess I’m caught,” she holds up her hand, there is the same glistening. “Dickhanded,” she laughs.

“Now is not the time for jokes, my dear.”

She gets serious. “What is it time for, huh? More blowjobs? I might as well get Nickelback tattooed up my spine for as much as I suck.”

“What are you talking about?”

She farts. Then looks him in the eyes.

“This, this whole thing. You coming into my room at anytime of the day or night or whenever and expecting me to be your fuck rag. I just wanted to scare you a couple of times. Then it got fun. So I kept it up. I knew if it got bad enough you’d come running over here seeking out my pussy as a comfort zone, you small dicked, insecure, scaredy-cat. So, I’m caught. Hardy-fucking-har.”

“I’m not staying with you after this.”

“I’ve got a line of long-shafted sailors just waiting for a piece of this. It’ll be nice being filled up for once, not feeling as though I’m empty inside,” she farts.

“You’re fucking crazy.”

He stands and walks to the window. He sticks a leg out, stops, looks at her as though he is going to speak, he says nothing, climbs all the way out.

“Hey!” she calls to him from inside.

He sticks his head inside. “What?”

“Sweet dreams,” she farts.

He flips her off, turns, and walks away. He pulls up his shirt and removes the book from his waistband.

“Yeah, sweet dreams to you too, you gassy bitch.”

End.

2

Bootie Who

*This is something I started working on but never finished*

“Just look at all of them, they’re everywhere. And…and one day we’ll be like that, so ancient, so frail, so transparent…”

“So oblivious to the world surrounding us,” Tommy cuts in.

“Exactly, we’ll know what everything is; technology, sex, we’ll just forget what to do with it.”

“It’s not that we forget what to do with it, I think we want to forget because those tools of the trade just don’t work anymore: erectile dysfunction, senility.”

“Osteoporosis…”

“Huh?”

“You know, loss of bone density…no, doesn’t ring a bell?”

“I know what fucking osteoporosis is. It just has no relevance.”

“It has relevance. It’s something we have, bone density, and with age we lose, just like with sexual functionality.”

And it pretty much stayed like this for the rest of the day. Tommy and I sipping java, eating coffee cakes and discussing our worries about the years to come. That was how my day went. My night is a completely different story. It started on my walk home.

On the many a nights that I make the trek from the quaint coffee house, three blocks to my apartment I usually occupy my time whistling a tune. Be it a one hit wonder from the eighties or current tune being played on the rock radio stations, it is whistled loud and proud from these two lips. On this hazy, damp night, I had chosen Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody to help make the excursion fly by. (For I had just rented the new Mark Paul Gosselaar movie and I couldn’t wait to see if he had chosen a role that would revitalize his career and shut up the naysayers who believe that Zack Morris is all that he’ll ever be. I know your saying to yourself, “He was in NYPD Blue. Didn’t that shed his Zack Morris innocence?” No, it did not.)

Just as I’m rounding the corner and approaching the stairs leading into my apartment building I come to the last bars of Freddie Mercury’s masterpiece.

“A great choice,” I whisper to myself as I climb the stairs and journey into number 133.

Once inside I hang my keys on the key hanger I made in shop as a high schooler, immediately walk to the phone, and check for messages. There is one; I push the button and out of the tiny speaker, I hear my sister’s annoyingly fake yankee accent.

Hey Les, my cah broke down this mahnin’ and I have this really hawt date tonight. So, I have two favahs ta ask, one, can I bahrow ya cah tonight, and second can you watch little Hilary while I’m gone? I’ll owe ya big. Call me back, love ya.”