The Trouser Snake

“I’m sorry, I just cannot publish this in the children’s market.”

“It’s a children’s book.”

“You keep saying that…it’s…here’s the thing, your book, well, it’s just too phallic to be a children’s story.”

“Really? Phallic? Please enlighten me.”

“First of all it is called The Trouser Snake…”

“The main child finds a snake and keeps it in his pocket.”

“That may be…its just there has to be a better title than The Trouser Snake.”

“Sure, I’ll call it, There’s a Python in My Pants. Huh? You like that, don’t you?”

“That’s not better. Strangely enough it’s worse. Look, here’s the deal, I’m not publishing a children’s book that eludes to the penis in any way possible. Be it intentional or un.”

“Okay, okay…say I take out the snake and replace it with…I don’t know…let’s say…he walks past a laundromat and finds a roll of quarters…I’ll call it; Is That a Roll of Quarters in Your Pocket?”

“You can not be serious?”

“He’s walking in his backyard and finds one of those plastic rockets, I’ve Got a Rocket in My Pocket. Has a nice ring to it, no?”

“I am asking you to leave.”

“What do I have to do?”

“You have to leave. I will call security, hell, maybe even the cops. Tell them I have some perv here trying to sell kids a book full of innuendos about his penis. How does that sound.”

“Sounds like we have a deal. Good day sir.”

“Yeah, thanks.”



  1. Trey · January 6, 2012

    This was brilliant. Well played, sir.

  2. rachel · January 7, 2012

    That’s hot.

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